What does virtual Doula support look like?

What does virtual doula support look like? Spoiler alert: it’s not always as distant as it sounds!

To be sure, “virtual” doula support was not something that you heard about very frequently before 2020… and probably for a pretty good reason, since a doula is considered a fairly “hands on” profession. But then one day we ended up in a global pandemic and the rest, as they say, is history.

So… how virtual is virtual doula support?

In fact, like most types of doula support, people can tailor the “virtual” aspect to suit their needs and comfort levels. Doulas have always been considered an essential service, so in-person has always been possible. The main issue is that a birthing person is only allowed one support person to be with them at the hospital, and for the most part, they will choose their partner. But, while the birth itself may seem like the main event, there is still a lot of behind the scenes preparation to do in order to have the best possible experience.

Let’s look at some of the levels of “virtual” doula support

1. Virtual at the hospital, in person whenever possible

This is the most popular choice amongst my clients at the moment. This involves the normal three pre-natal meetings/classes at your home (masked, of course!) in which we discuss what is important for you in birth and make a comprehensive birth “plan” (or “preferences”) so that your wishes can be easily and effectively communicated to the medical team. We also go over comfort measures in labour and talk about breastfeeding a newborn.

Then, as we approach your due date, we take a close look at the current Covid situation. If it looks like the situation is not going to permit a second support person at the hospital (i.e. your doula…) then it’s time for a fourth pre-natal class designed to teach your partner the ins and outs of the hospital room – what to ask for, where to find things, insider secrets (shhh)… I also make sure that they have comfort measures practiced so that they are almost second nature… in short, a bit like a doula boot-camp for your partner. In an ideal situation, there will be time for us to go over these again together while you are in early labour.

In early active labour, when you start to find your contractions become slightly more intense, I will come to your house and be with you until it is time to go to the hospital. Most birth experiences improve the longer you can put off going to the hospital, and I am happy to be by your side navigating and normalizing this time for both you and your partner. I have plenty of comfort measures involving touch, pressure and massage up my sleeve and you can let me know if you would like me to perform these or if you feel more comfortable with me instructing your partner in more hands-on help. Since doulas are considered essential, we are also allowed to be out and about after curfew. (Personally, I had enough of curfew when I was a teenager, so I am fervently hoping that by the time you read this, curfew is a thing of the past).

The next exciting step in labour is usually the trip to the hospital. Until I receive confirmation that everyone is in, I am on high alert. If for any reason your partner is not able to go in (temperature, Covid symptoms) then I will come to be with you at the hospital. Otherwise, I return home and set up my virtual doula office. Throughout your whole stay at the hospital, I am on call 24/7. In fact, my virtual doula office is a pull-out couch in the living room so that I can receive all the middle-of-the-night calls I need to without bothering the rest of my family.

Why do people need to call? Pretty much for any reason you can think of! Complications with the birth plan? Interventions being proposed and you aren’t sure what questions to ask about them? Don’t remember where that pressure point was and want to do a quick video call to show me what’s going on? Any reason is a good reason!

Virtual support doesn’t stop with the birth either, I am there to support you during the golden hour and first days of breastfeeding too. Likewise, if things go in an unexpected direction and you need to stay at the hospital longer than planned, I am ready and available to help you out with breastfeeding at the NICU. Both of my kids spent at least a month there, so I have lots of tips and tricks to make a NICU stay easier.

Once back at home, I come for one or two post-natal visits to help support you in-person with breastfeeding and baby care. This could include helping with baby’s first bath, trying out the baby carrier with an actual baby and chatting about how the birth went.

2. Virtual by default, in-person when it feels truly necessary

This option usually has all of the pre-natal meetings set up as Zoom calls, with early labour at home as a time to practice some confort techniques in-person until it is time to go to the hospital or birth centre.

After the birth, I will usually do one brief in-person visit at home and any follow up by phone or video call, unless you feel that you have breastfeeding challenges that would benefit from in-person support.

3. All virtual, all the time

This was the option that most people chose at the peak of the first wave of Covid last spring. It is definitely the most extreme option, but very pertinent for people who are immune-compromised, in quarantine or living with elderly relatives.

Like the name says, everything is done virtually. I ended up doing this with several families that I was working with and it actually worked surprisingly well. They felt that they had the knowledge and support that they needed to make informed decisions throughout the birth. It is strange to be such an important part of each other’s lives and parenthood journey without ever meeting, but we adapt to the situations we are thrown into. We still joke that one day, when it is permitted again, we will finally meet in person and have a picnic in the park!

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